You are Zero

      "You are a zero." My dad used to say this all the time when he would preach. What he meant when he said it is that you are a zero, and God is One. Part of God's love for us is that He allows us to make our own choices and decisions. We all make decisions, and we all decide how important we think we are. So if you are zero, and you put yourself as more important than God, than God, shown in your life, will only be 01. But if you submit to Christ and follow Him, than God, shown in your life, will be 10.

     I will be entirely honest with you, my ego is one of my biggest flaws. I can think, God has blessed me with the ability to be able to look at a situation and find a solution, or be able to determine different philosophies, but I take that, and I use my God-given talents for my own good, and often to the detriment of others. In my mind I can justify a lot of my actions, but I've done so many stupid things that I can never undo. Adrenaline is intoxicating, and in the moment I find myself saying stupid things I don't mean, but can't admit, and coming to regret it later. But when I think about it I'm so self absorbed that I can't admit to doing something wrong, so I try to justify my action in my mind. And it kills me. It kills my faith. It kills my friendships. It kills my representation of Christ. I can't keep living like this, people. I really can't. But I need your help.

John 12:24 says (NIV)

"Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it ides, it produces many seeds"

I need to die. But I can't do it on my own, only through God I can conquer the devil. So moving forward, if I say something arrogant, selfish, or think of myself before God, or before others, don't think less of me, but rebuke me. Pray for me, that I will become selfless, and strive live selflessly, to glorify God, and so also to be an example for others, and for myself.